Wedding planning is funny. You go into it thinking of the dream wedding from your childhood and then you start looking at venues and dresses and vendors and favors (the list is a mile long) and you slowly realize that the wedding you have been planning since you were 8 years old will actually cost more than your entire college tuition. I wish I were kidding. People think it can be done on the cheap and to that I say "yes it can" if its all Do-It-Yourself and, trust me, you can tell. It's sad though because I've got all these ideas on how to save money by doing things myself, but in the end, it looks cheap (because it is cheap). Or it isn't that much less expensive after all the supplies are bought. For example, a woman in my building suggested gluing special glitter to pillar candles of different heights and then putting the candles on mirrors as a center piece. The glitter (which was $15 a bottle and each bottle could do 1-2 centerpieces) and the mirrors ($30 each) make the whole thing sparkle. When its all said and done, it would be about $150 per center piece. Sure thats less $$ than flowers but glitter flakes off and the mirrors take up a lot of space on the table; at the end of the day you've saved about $100 a table and you've created something that looks like a 6 year year old's art project. I'm so torn between doing things frugally and beautifully. I will happily accept suggestions.
It's also not easy doing this planning without your mom and sister around to bounce ideas off of. Sure I call and email them (like 3 times daily) but do they respond? no. In fact, I have to bring up the photos or the website links I sent to see if they even looked at them and then what their thoughts are. If they were here doing it with me, this wouldn't be an issue. But they aren't, so naturally, it bothers me more than I'd like to admit.
Then, the worst of all wedding planning offenses, is the "we just want you to be happy" speech. I am thankful and grateful that our parents are helping us pay for the wedding. Not everyone is so lucky and I know that we are truly blessed. But when I ask for opinions, not just on cost but also on style and quality, the only response I get is "We just want you to be happy." God forbid I bring up that something is slightly less expensive than the alternative, I get emotionally slapped upside the head for thinking that something is too good for me. Likewise, if I say that something is slightly more expensive, I get the Jewish guilt-trip. Mind you, no where do I get any kind of a response. I swear, it's giving me an ulcer. Here's a great example for you.
Me: Mom, I was thinking that I could get hydrangeas in the right color so wouldn't that be great for the bridesmaids bouquets? They are fuller flowers so you actually need fewer of them so it will be less money! That could work nicely, don't you think?
Mom: Sweetheart, it's not about the money. For heaven's sake, we can afford to get you nice flowers. You only get to do this once, you know.
Me: I wasn't suggesting that we couldn't afford it. I only meant that it would be an easy way to cut costs without reducing the visual affect. But if you'd rather do orchids, roses, and lilies i'm all for it.
Mom: What, are we made of money?!
end scene.
In reality, all I was looking for was a simple "yes I think that would look really pretty" or "No, I don't think it will look as nice as you want it to but let's keep thinking". Part of me thinks that it's all an elaborate hoax. Like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding: The Jewish Sequel". That wouldn't be so bad. At least then I'd get some Hollywood royalties. Until that screenplay is signed I think I'll just have to learn to embrace it and take mental notes.
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