The City that Never Cleans.

Today I have one thing to say: In a city with over 8 million inhabitants, manners go a looong way. There is never a time where you are alone in NYC so the only way to survive is to be mindful of your neighbors. Here are a few quick and easy tips for keeping sane:

1. Pay it forward. If you are pleasant to someone, they will be pleasant in return. Or, at the very least, they will be less nasty.

2. Stop gossiping on the phone while you're on the train. I can't tell you how many times I've endured a train ride with a woman on the phone, loudly gossiping with her BFF about how Jamal ain't never around or how Denise can't keep her legs shut. It annoys me so much to have to sit through that and have little say in the matter. It is my train ride too, right? Can't I decide what i listen to? Absolutely not. You can't even think of asking these people to keep it down because you might get off at your stop with a black eye.

3. Inside voices. Whether its on the phone or with the person next to you, no one cares. Stop sharing intimate details with your buddy at a volume where everyone can hear. If it bugs you when people butt into your conversation, it probably means that you're talking too loud. On behalf of New York, shut the f up.

4. Don't forget your Ps and Qs. No one says please or thank you anymore. god forbid someone nearby sneezes and you recognize it. When someone says "excuse me", I'm more inclined to get out of the way than when someone tries to shove by me. Seriously, I shove back. Especially if I'm in a bad mood to begin with. I've missed a train by 2.7 seconds before, OH WELL. You can wait to get off the train just like everyone else. It's not like we are purposefully blocking y our path of travel. Get over yourself.

5. there are trashcans at EVERY corner for a reason. Use them. I don't like seeing trash on the sidewalks and in the sewers; that shit will stay there until my children are in college. And its all because people are too lazy to hang on to something for an extra 20 yards of walking. While we're at it, clean up after your dogs, too.

6. Patience is a virtue. This one is a double edged sword in the city. If you are patient, you certainly make the salesman/cashier feel a bit more respected if you are patient than if you try to speed them up. On the other hand, people will cut you in line and be all-around rude if they feel like you are wasting their time and things could speed up. Just remember to keep your mouth shut and wait your turn. It will be respected and appreciated...eventually.

It is difficult for me to understand why some people have a hard time interacting with others, even if they are strangers. Perhaps they feel that in a city so big, they can be rude and get away with it because no one will recognize them. Whatever the reason, it isn't right. I can go on and on with examples of rude behavior here forever. But it all comes down to this:

Nothing is so important that you have the right to be rude.

I don't want blood stains on the pavement.

Since when is a parking lot not for cars? I must have missed that page in the NY State Drivers Manual. Lately it feels like I'm not in a parking lot unless theres someone strolling down the middle of the drive aisle, sometimes with small children or dogs. Word to the wise, anyone/thing under 4' tall is hard to see in a rear view mirror. When i have children, you better believe they will be walking RIGHT next to the parked cars and I will be blocking them from on-coming traffic. People, do us all a favor and save you and your loved ones by walking on the side.

C'est la vi

Well, it has been a while. Since my last post my life has done a 180; I am now engaged and unemployed. Yeah, funny how that turned out. About 1 week after the engagement, god decided that too much was going my way and decided that i didn't need a job right now. Cool, thanks for that. Although my budget has been squeezed to the maximum, I have had loads of time to plan my wedding and I also spent a week on the west coast with my family. All in all, it could have been a lot worse. (That's not an invitation, by the way).

Wedding planning is funny. You go into it thinking of the dream wedding from your childhood and then you start looking at venues and dresses and vendors and favors (the list is a mile long) and you slowly realize that the wedding you have been planning since you were 8 years old will actually cost more than your entire college tuition. I wish I were kidding. People think it can be done on the cheap and to that I say "yes it can" if its all Do-It-Yourself and, trust me, you can tell. It's sad though because I've got all these ideas on how to save money by doing things myself, but in the end, it looks cheap (because it is cheap). Or it isn't that much less expensive after all the supplies are bought. For example, a woman in my building suggested gluing special glitter to pillar candles of different heights and then putting the candles on mirrors as a center piece. The glitter (which was $15 a bottle and each bottle could do 1-2 centerpieces) and the mirrors ($30 each) make the whole thing sparkle. When its all said and done, it would be about $150 per center piece. Sure thats less $$ than flowers but glitter flakes off and the mirrors take up a lot of space on the table; at the end of the day you've saved about $100 a table and you've created something that looks like a 6 year year old's art project. I'm so torn between doing things frugally and beautifully. I will happily accept suggestions.

It's also not easy doing this planning without your mom and sister around to bounce ideas off of. Sure I call and email them (like 3 times daily) but do they respond? no. In fact, I have to bring up the photos or the website links I sent to see if they even looked at them and then what their thoughts are. If they were here doing it with me, this wouldn't be an issue. But they aren't, so naturally, it bothers me more than I'd like to admit.

Then, the worst of all wedding planning offenses, is the "we just want you to be happy" speech. I am thankful and grateful that our parents are helping us pay for the wedding. Not everyone is so lucky and I know that we are truly blessed. But when I ask for opinions, not just on cost but also on style and quality, the only response I get is "We just want you to be happy." God forbid I bring up that something is slightly less expensive than the alternative, I get emotionally slapped upside the head for thinking that something is too good for me. Likewise, if I say that something is slightly more expensive, I get the Jewish guilt-trip. Mind you, no where do I get any kind of a response. I swear, it's giving me an ulcer. Here's a great example for you.

Me: Mom, I was thinking that I could get hydrangeas in the right color so wouldn't that be great for the bridesmaids bouquets? They are fuller flowers so you actually need fewer of them so it will be less money! That could work nicely, don't you think?

Mom: Sweetheart, it's not about the money. For heaven's sake, we can afford to get you nice flowers. You only get to do this once, you know.

Me: I wasn't suggesting that we couldn't afford it. I only meant that it would be an easy way to cut costs without reducing the visual affect. But if you'd rather do orchids, roses, and lilies i'm all for it.

Mom: What, are we made of money?!

end scene.

In reality, all I was looking for was a simple "yes I think that would look really pretty" or "No, I don't think it will look as nice as you want it to but let's keep thinking". Part of me thinks that it's all an elaborate hoax. Like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding: The Jewish Sequel". That wouldn't be so bad. At least then I'd get some Hollywood royalties. Until that screenplay is signed I think I'll just have to learn to embrace it and take mental notes.