Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

***TWILIGHT SERIES SPOILER ALERT***

It is no secret to my friends and coworkers that I am a fan of Twilight. I would never call myself a Twi-hard, as i'm not that crazy obsessed. But I do have a special love for the series. With that said, there are a few items worth discussing.

First and foremost, as addicting as the books are, they have a severely detrimental view of what a "healthy" relationship is. In the first book, Bella find out that the boy she's attracted to (like a magnet) is in fact a vampire. On the surface, it's a cute love story about forbidden love - she wants to be with him but can't because he could kill her at any moment and he is compelled to be with her too even though he is terrified of being a monster and ending her life. In the end, they decide that their love is stronger than any of the horrid consequences of said love and choose to be together despite the odds. Happy right? What about the disease-ridden under-story? Edward essentially stalks Bella - he watches her sleep every night - and she ditches her friends and family to be with him. Granted, at one point in the story his stalking actually saves her life, but that is beside the point. What kind of message is that to the young readers? It's ok to ignore your friends, and ditch your parents if you're in love? She's 17 at this point in the story. All I have left to say about that is that I am glad I am old enough to understand how skewed the story really is.

Next on the list, Am I Team Edward or Team Jacob? While reading the books I was 100% Team Edward. Edward was MUCH more charming than in the movies and I found Jacob to be slightly annoying in the way he never took Bella seriously when she turned him down. I can't find a single example of when she verbally led him on. She was always crystal clear when speaking that she had no romantic feelings for him and had always and will always love Edward. Why did he keep trying??? But then I saw New Moon and my opinion has changed. Now I'm kind of thinking that I'm favoring Jacob. When Edward comes back into Bella's life (in the movie and worse in the book) his logic for leaving her the way he did seemed seriously lacking. "I left you because I loved you and wanted to protect you"??? C'mon. Seriously? How about:

"I left you because I was afraid that if my family was near you, you'd end up in the morgue".

That's more believable. And did he really need to lie to her and say that he didn't love her? I don't think so. I feel that adds insult to injury. So, Edward? STFU. Just go brood somewhere and look pretty until I like you again.

On a more technical level, the New Moon movie was far superior to the original Twilight movie. The cinematography was more advanced, the scenery/sets were better, and the CGI was WAY better. These I attribute to a higher budget. It's hard to make a kick-ass movie with no money, so I take Twilight with a grain of salt. It's was a cheap movie because it had to be. The acting itself, although still somewhat childish, is better in the second movie. That may be due to the change of director. All in all, I thoroghly enjoyed the New Moon movie and can't wait to see Eclipse!

I'm interested to see how they portray the action of the 3rd book (and more so the 4th book). I'm SO excited to see the wedding and Bella as a vampire. In the book, it says that Bella is a jaw-droppingly gorgeous vampire. I'm interested to see how they will change Kristen Stewart to fit that role - not to say she isn't beautiful, but her vampire beauty is supposedly "beyond real". I'm intrigued on how Renesme and Jacob will play out on screen since it was such a hard concept to grasp while reading (a man in love with a toddler??? yuck). And I really hope they make the entire thing easier on Charlie than in the book; He is such a good sport during the entire series. Bella leaves him the way her mom did in the first movie, then acts like nothing happened. She is catatonic for months in the second movie but acts like everything is fine and dandy the second Edward returns to her life. The third movie she gets married at 18. The fourth she gets knocked up and made immortal. If I did this to my father (if it were even remotely possible) I feel like I would be locked away and never trusted again. Actually, when you put it that way, Bella sounds a little mental! But thats neither here nor there. Regardless, Charlie deserves some credit. In short, There is much to look forward to. I just hope they end up making the last movie. It would seem silly not to at this point. Its such a cash cow!

I'm sure I will add more on the topic once I stew a little more! Until then, I'm always interested to hear what others have to say about it :)

The $400 burger

I'm no stranger to the less-than-normal experiences one has when in the city. In fact, every time i go there, something weird and inexplicable happens. But last night's event takes the cake.

While at a grungy bar with some friends, we decide that we were way too hungry for the free hot dogs provided at the establishment, so we went across the street to the restaurant on the corner. There was a 45 minute wait so we put our name down and made a bee-line to the bar in the back. My friend Courtney and I were chatting and catching up when a middle-aged man tapped on my shoulder and said:

"I will give one of you girls $100 if you give me your seat."

Immediately, the cynic in me thinks 'what's the catch'. But before i could form a coherent and cordial sentence, Courtney (also a cynic) asks the man to prove he has the money. He takes a wad of cash out of his coat pocket, counts out 5 $20 bills and put it down on the bar. In one swift motion she grabs the money and jumps up off the stool. It was so fast, i didn't even see it happen. I'm absolutely stunned and tell the man that i would have given him the seat for free if he had asked nicely. He replies "I'm the president of several nuclear power plants and make over $1 million a year. What's another hundred? I'm in a hurry and needed to get a seat in order to be served." He then takes out another $100 and hands it to me, just for shits. Taking the opportunity to learn as much about how to get that wealthy as possible, i ask the man for any professional advice. He replies with the cliche to just do something you love and then it won't feel like work. We chat for a few minutes and then we are called to go to our seat. As we all walk away, he gives us another $120 "for our dinner" and i like to think for our kindness as well.

Cliff notes: A random generous middle-aged man shelled out $320 to 2 young (smokin'-hot) females just to get a seat at a restaurant bar. He probably just put down $400 for a fucking burger. Needless to say that after months of watching our spending, and since dinner was on John-Paul, Courtney and I ordered our dinner without hesitation; martinis, sushi, burgers, more martinis. It was fantastic. The food was great, the company was great, the story was great. It was one of those nights that only happens in NYC and one i won't soon forget.

This one goes out to John-Paul; If you ever need my seat again, don't hesitate to ask :)

Road Bully

I have seen people flicker their high beams on the highway to get the car in front of them to move out of the way. I think it's extremely unnecessary and can be a little scary if you're on the receiving end of this prank. You don't know whats going on and you're minding your business when all of a sudden you're afraid there's a crazy person in the car behind you that is about to run you off the road. Well it happened to me this evening. Only I was in the slow lane of a 3 lane highway and there was no one blocking the other 2 lanes. At first I thought maybe my lights weren't on and they were trying to be considerate. My lights were on. When the driver behind me finally passed me after 10 minutes of stress, they didn't even speed past me in a last effort to intimidate me. They slowly drove off like nothing happened. I still don't know what the hell happened. Is Road Rage out and Road Bullying in?

To Kill a Mounds Bar

Coming Of Age was a common theme in literature from the 19th century. I argue that it is still a relevant topic as seen in my Halloween experiences. Looking back at the last 20 years of my life, I see no other holiday with such thematic relevance than this one. Several Halloweens are permanently etched into my brain.

1. In elementary school met up with a few girls and boys from class to go trick-or-treating. As we were still under the age of 12, the skankiest costume was that of the queen of hearts complete with a mom-made white sweatshirt with red-bedazzled heart decal. It was a fun night, as it was one of the first without parental supervision, and it was all quite innocent. When i got home, I emptied my candy-filled pillowcase on the floor in front of the TV and watched ninja turtles while I sorted my candy into genres, (Sour, Fruity, Chocolaty, & Nasty if you were curious).
2. Fast forward 5 years. This time in high school, my friends and I all tried to be as sexy as our stick-figures would allow. Our activity ratio was 20% house-to-house charades and 80% movie night with our crushes after dark. It didn't matter what our costumes were as long as there was some time to flirt for a few hours.
3. Fast Forward 5 years.In college my soroity sisters would compete as if they were mathletes:

Halloween = (exposed skin(in.) x # boys who stare)+3(body weight)alcohol

Worth minutes before your stomach must be pumped

Despite the sub-freezing temperatures of central New York, if you

went out with more than spandex on you were shunned until spring

break when you could redeem yourself again. Many didn't remember

anything the next day expect until they saw the obscene photos

that were posted on the internet. I don't recommend this approach

to your Halloween festivities - it is messy on so many levels.

Fast forward 5 years and we're in the current. This year I spent my Halloween giving out candy to small children complete with the "Aren't you a beautiful ballerina!" and "Optimus Prime, you're my favorite autobot!"

There's an interesting progression to all of this. From childhood excitement to ambiguity to an excuse be skanky to excitement for the kids enjoyment. Perhaps this is proof that I'm now an adult; my Halloween experience has come full circle. If this is true, then that is the most depressing thing I've heard in a while. Maybe next year I'll dress-up and cause a scene to regain my lost adolescence. Who's in???