But as awesome as Ecstatic Guy is, theres nothing worse than the Female Non-Fan. Before you freak out, let me explain. I had the pleasure of sitting next to a group of 6 young women, each wearing black leggings, tall Uggs, and a jersey provocatively tied up as high as possible without being arrested for indecent exposure. I can't fault them for trying to look cute (and failing) but I can fault them at sitting and texting for the entire game. I sat there and I tried to figure these girls out and I think I came to a valid conclusion. These girls aren't fans. They couldn't care less about the Defensive TD just scored of that the offense just ran a Wildcat. This is because their only goal in life is to look cute and catch the attention of men - all men - even if it means doing something they hate. It's an intriguing theory; most men like sports so what better way to attract one than by acting like you also like sports thereby making you the "elusive" cool, hot female that likes sports. What guy wouldn't go for that? Girls, I salute you for your crafty ways. But I revoke the aforementioned salute for failing miserably. You see, theres a fine line between being mysteriously awesome and looking like a complete fool. Unfortunately you crossed that line. The men around these women were not interested. (Who would be when they are in the presence of NFL legends?). Sure, they checked the girls out but thats instinct. One female got so angry that the man in front of her wasn't ignoring his girlfriend to flirt with her that she intentionally spit beer on him and tried to tell the security guards that she spilled accidentally. Lucky for her, the guard witnessed the whole thing and she was thrown out of the game. I love when that happens. So, a few of her friends left to keep her company with the po-po. Meanwhile, in an effort to keep the attention of the crowd while it lasted, another girl (we'll call her Dumbass) called out one of the Defensive players names during an Offensive Play. That was the icing on the cake - I could take no more shenanigans. After hearing this blasphemy, I turned to my boyfriend and said:
They might as well be wearing pink jerseys.If you ask me, pink jerseys are a joke. If you truly route for a team then you BLEED the team colors. No ifs, ands, or buts. Having a pink jersey says (to me) that you aren't really a fan. You'd rather look girly than cheer on the men on the field. Likewise, these girls would rather be attention whores than actually watch the game they paid big bucks to see in person. Next time, Female Non-Fans, do me a favor and stay home. Give a real fan your ticket and let the rest of us enjoy in peace.
.jpg)