TGIF

Ahh, Friday Night. It's a comfort to know that I can sleep in tomorrow, that I don't have to wear dress clothes for another 2 days, that I can turn my brain off. I had the option of going out with some friends this evening but decided to stay home and finish my book with a nice glass of wine instead. It was a busy week and I had LOTS on my mind; I could use the quiet time to un-stress.

But in my effort to un-stress, I actually re-stressed. Why? Because I'm hungry and there is nothing worse than cooking for yourself. I detest when i look up at the clock and think "well, sh*t. It's almost 9 and I still haven't eaten dinner. f**k." Cooking for 1 is a huge waste of time, energy, and FOOD. it's almost impossible to make a great meal for 1 unless you make it for 4 and have a lot of leftovers.

Pasta is my fail-safe. no matter what, I will always have a box of rotini/penne and a jar of sauce ready for the eating. you really can't go wrong. If only there was carb-free pasta....

Interloper Santa??

As the holidays quickly approach I am reminded of the holiday season I spent in Italy. Most of the homes and apartments in the region I stayed did not have the amenity of a fireplace. I thought to myself,

"How do Italian children think Santa gets inside if not by descending through a chimney?"

and I got my answer. Their Santa Claus wasn't a big fat jolly man in a red suit. He was a felon. Meet Interloper Santa.

This Santa Claus shimmy's up the drain pipe and climbs in your window on Christmas Eve.

What a superb thing to tell children. Now, when a 7 year old Italian girl sees a man climb in her window in December she'll just say "Mama, mama! è Santa! Santa Claus è venuto!" and then they'll all be shot and killed while "santa" walks out with their new flat screen tv.

Similarly, how do Europeans know when to start selling the holiday products or when to start decorating. Without Thanksgiving as a mile-marker in their calendar, do they have a Black Friday or a Cyber Monday??? Or are store aisles filled with red and green by the end of August?

Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

***TWILIGHT SERIES SPOILER ALERT***

It is no secret to my friends and coworkers that I am a fan of Twilight. I would never call myself a Twi-hard, as i'm not that crazy obsessed. But I do have a special love for the series. With that said, there are a few items worth discussing.

First and foremost, as addicting as the books are, they have a severely detrimental view of what a "healthy" relationship is. In the first book, Bella find out that the boy she's attracted to (like a magnet) is in fact a vampire. On the surface, it's a cute love story about forbidden love - she wants to be with him but can't because he could kill her at any moment and he is compelled to be with her too even though he is terrified of being a monster and ending her life. In the end, they decide that their love is stronger than any of the horrid consequences of said love and choose to be together despite the odds. Happy right? What about the disease-ridden under-story? Edward essentially stalks Bella - he watches her sleep every night - and she ditches her friends and family to be with him. Granted, at one point in the story his stalking actually saves her life, but that is beside the point. What kind of message is that to the young readers? It's ok to ignore your friends, and ditch your parents if you're in love? She's 17 at this point in the story. All I have left to say about that is that I am glad I am old enough to understand how skewed the story really is.

Next on the list, Am I Team Edward or Team Jacob? While reading the books I was 100% Team Edward. Edward was MUCH more charming than in the movies and I found Jacob to be slightly annoying in the way he never took Bella seriously when she turned him down. I can't find a single example of when she verbally led him on. She was always crystal clear when speaking that she had no romantic feelings for him and had always and will always love Edward. Why did he keep trying??? But then I saw New Moon and my opinion has changed. Now I'm kind of thinking that I'm favoring Jacob. When Edward comes back into Bella's life (in the movie and worse in the book) his logic for leaving her the way he did seemed seriously lacking. "I left you because I loved you and wanted to protect you"??? C'mon. Seriously? How about:

"I left you because I was afraid that if my family was near you, you'd end up in the morgue".

That's more believable. And did he really need to lie to her and say that he didn't love her? I don't think so. I feel that adds insult to injury. So, Edward? STFU. Just go brood somewhere and look pretty until I like you again.

On a more technical level, the New Moon movie was far superior to the original Twilight movie. The cinematography was more advanced, the scenery/sets were better, and the CGI was WAY better. These I attribute to a higher budget. It's hard to make a kick-ass movie with no money, so I take Twilight with a grain of salt. It's was a cheap movie because it had to be. The acting itself, although still somewhat childish, is better in the second movie. That may be due to the change of director. All in all, I thoroghly enjoyed the New Moon movie and can't wait to see Eclipse!

I'm interested to see how they portray the action of the 3rd book (and more so the 4th book). I'm SO excited to see the wedding and Bella as a vampire. In the book, it says that Bella is a jaw-droppingly gorgeous vampire. I'm interested to see how they will change Kristen Stewart to fit that role - not to say she isn't beautiful, but her vampire beauty is supposedly "beyond real". I'm intrigued on how Renesme and Jacob will play out on screen since it was such a hard concept to grasp while reading (a man in love with a toddler??? yuck). And I really hope they make the entire thing easier on Charlie than in the book; He is such a good sport during the entire series. Bella leaves him the way her mom did in the first movie, then acts like nothing happened. She is catatonic for months in the second movie but acts like everything is fine and dandy the second Edward returns to her life. The third movie she gets married at 18. The fourth she gets knocked up and made immortal. If I did this to my father (if it were even remotely possible) I feel like I would be locked away and never trusted again. Actually, when you put it that way, Bella sounds a little mental! But thats neither here nor there. Regardless, Charlie deserves some credit. In short, There is much to look forward to. I just hope they end up making the last movie. It would seem silly not to at this point. Its such a cash cow!

I'm sure I will add more on the topic once I stew a little more! Until then, I'm always interested to hear what others have to say about it :)

The $400 burger

I'm no stranger to the less-than-normal experiences one has when in the city. In fact, every time i go there, something weird and inexplicable happens. But last night's event takes the cake.

While at a grungy bar with some friends, we decide that we were way too hungry for the free hot dogs provided at the establishment, so we went across the street to the restaurant on the corner. There was a 45 minute wait so we put our name down and made a bee-line to the bar in the back. My friend Courtney and I were chatting and catching up when a middle-aged man tapped on my shoulder and said:

"I will give one of you girls $100 if you give me your seat."

Immediately, the cynic in me thinks 'what's the catch'. But before i could form a coherent and cordial sentence, Courtney (also a cynic) asks the man to prove he has the money. He takes a wad of cash out of his coat pocket, counts out 5 $20 bills and put it down on the bar. In one swift motion she grabs the money and jumps up off the stool. It was so fast, i didn't even see it happen. I'm absolutely stunned and tell the man that i would have given him the seat for free if he had asked nicely. He replies "I'm the president of several nuclear power plants and make over $1 million a year. What's another hundred? I'm in a hurry and needed to get a seat in order to be served." He then takes out another $100 and hands it to me, just for shits. Taking the opportunity to learn as much about how to get that wealthy as possible, i ask the man for any professional advice. He replies with the cliche to just do something you love and then it won't feel like work. We chat for a few minutes and then we are called to go to our seat. As we all walk away, he gives us another $120 "for our dinner" and i like to think for our kindness as well.

Cliff notes: A random generous middle-aged man shelled out $320 to 2 young (smokin'-hot) females just to get a seat at a restaurant bar. He probably just put down $400 for a fucking burger. Needless to say that after months of watching our spending, and since dinner was on John-Paul, Courtney and I ordered our dinner without hesitation; martinis, sushi, burgers, more martinis. It was fantastic. The food was great, the company was great, the story was great. It was one of those nights that only happens in NYC and one i won't soon forget.

This one goes out to John-Paul; If you ever need my seat again, don't hesitate to ask :)

Road Bully

I have seen people flicker their high beams on the highway to get the car in front of them to move out of the way. I think it's extremely unnecessary and can be a little scary if you're on the receiving end of this prank. You don't know whats going on and you're minding your business when all of a sudden you're afraid there's a crazy person in the car behind you that is about to run you off the road. Well it happened to me this evening. Only I was in the slow lane of a 3 lane highway and there was no one blocking the other 2 lanes. At first I thought maybe my lights weren't on and they were trying to be considerate. My lights were on. When the driver behind me finally passed me after 10 minutes of stress, they didn't even speed past me in a last effort to intimidate me. They slowly drove off like nothing happened. I still don't know what the hell happened. Is Road Rage out and Road Bullying in?

To Kill a Mounds Bar

Coming Of Age was a common theme in literature from the 19th century. I argue that it is still a relevant topic as seen in my Halloween experiences. Looking back at the last 20 years of my life, I see no other holiday with such thematic relevance than this one. Several Halloweens are permanently etched into my brain.

1. In elementary school met up with a few girls and boys from class to go trick-or-treating. As we were still under the age of 12, the skankiest costume was that of the queen of hearts complete with a mom-made white sweatshirt with red-bedazzled heart decal. It was a fun night, as it was one of the first without parental supervision, and it was all quite innocent. When i got home, I emptied my candy-filled pillowcase on the floor in front of the TV and watched ninja turtles while I sorted my candy into genres, (Sour, Fruity, Chocolaty, & Nasty if you were curious).
2. Fast forward 5 years. This time in high school, my friends and I all tried to be as sexy as our stick-figures would allow. Our activity ratio was 20% house-to-house charades and 80% movie night with our crushes after dark. It didn't matter what our costumes were as long as there was some time to flirt for a few hours.
3. Fast Forward 5 years.In college my soroity sisters would compete as if they were mathletes:

Halloween = (exposed skin(in.) x # boys who stare)+3(body weight)alcohol

Worth minutes before your stomach must be pumped

Despite the sub-freezing temperatures of central New York, if you

went out with more than spandex on you were shunned until spring

break when you could redeem yourself again. Many didn't remember

anything the next day expect until they saw the obscene photos

that were posted on the internet. I don't recommend this approach

to your Halloween festivities - it is messy on so many levels.

Fast forward 5 years and we're in the current. This year I spent my Halloween giving out candy to small children complete with the "Aren't you a beautiful ballerina!" and "Optimus Prime, you're my favorite autobot!"

There's an interesting progression to all of this. From childhood excitement to ambiguity to an excuse be skanky to excitement for the kids enjoyment. Perhaps this is proof that I'm now an adult; my Halloween experience has come full circle. If this is true, then that is the most depressing thing I've heard in a while. Maybe next year I'll dress-up and cause a scene to regain my lost adolescence. Who's in???

Pink Jerseys:Sports as Kryptonite:Superman

Last weekend I attended the [local NFL team]'s home game with my boyfriend. We do this a couple times per season and I always have a blast, regardless of whether or not my team wins. It's the atmosphere that gets me in the zone - the fans cheering, the fresh air, the over-priced beer. It's a fantastic experience. My favorite part of the game is the guy 3 rows in front of you who will make it a point to high five everyone in a 6-seat radius everytime there's a first down. Each game has a different Ecstatic Guy but there's always one. Guy, I salute you. You single-handedly get everyone pumped even when it's 4th and 37, you're down by 24, and there's :02 on the clock. You rock.

But as awesome as Ecstatic Guy is, theres nothing worse than the Female Non-Fan. Before you freak out, let me explain. I had the pleasure of sitting next to a group of 6 young women, each wearing black leggings, tall Uggs, and a jersey provocatively tied up as high as possible without being arrested for indecent exposure. I can't fault them for trying to look cute (and failing) but I can fault them at sitting and texting for the entire game. I sat there and I tried to figure these girls out and I think I came to a valid conclusion. These girls aren't fans. They couldn't care less about the Defensive TD just scored of that the offense just ran a Wildcat. This is because their only goal in life is to look cute and catch the attention of men - all men - even if it means doing something they hate. It's an intriguing theory; most men like sports so what better way to attract one than by acting like you also like sports thereby making you the "elusive" cool, hot female that likes sports. What guy wouldn't go for that? Girls, I salute you for your crafty ways. But I revoke the aforementioned salute for failing miserably. You see, theres a fine line between being mysteriously awesome and looking like a complete fool. Unfortunately you crossed that line. The men around these women were not interested. (Who would be when they are in the presence of NFL legends?). Sure, they checked the girls out but thats instinct. One female got so angry that the man in front of her wasn't ignoring his girlfriend to flirt with her that she intentionally spit beer on him and tried to tell the security guards that she spilled accidentally. Lucky for her, the guard witnessed the whole thing and she was thrown out of the game. I love when that happens. So, a few of her friends left to keep her company with the po-po. Meanwhile, in an effort to keep the attention of the crowd while it lasted, another girl (we'll call her Dumbass) called out one of the Defensive players names during an Offensive Play. That was the icing on the cake - I could take no more shenanigans. After hearing this blasphemy, I turned to my boyfriend and said:

They might as well be wearing pink jerseys.

If you ask me, pink jerseys are a joke. If you truly route for a team then you BLEED the team colors. No ifs, ands, or buts. Having a pink jersey says (to me) that you aren't really a fan. You'd rather look girly than cheer on the men on the field. Likewise, these girls would rather be attention whores than actually watch the game they paid big bucks to see in person. Next time, Female Non-Fans, do me a favor and stay home. Give a real fan your ticket and let the rest of us enjoy in peace.

Welcome to Westchester

Welcome to Westchester where you'll be charged $8 for a kids size scope of ice cream at the corner store. Tell me why I spend time here when that same $8 could have bought me a nice 15 acre estate in North Dakota???

Change is Good or So They Say

I've always been told that change is a good thing and I have never believed it. Maybe that's the route of all my problems. But let's start at the very beginning. Fraulein Maria said it's a good place to start...

I'm an east-coaster born and bred. I grew up in a more-or-less one-road town in suburban Connecticut and went to school in central New York. Even now I live in the tri-state area while my entire immediate family is in California.

This new blog is a change; I'm not a writer and I never have been. In fact, the majority of my life has revolved around everything BUT writing. I've been told many times that I am overly opinionated. So why not share those opinions? Maybe this change will be a good thing...